i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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