can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
