how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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