just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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