Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
