ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
