he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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