so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I had to cum in my sink.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
