he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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