Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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