do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
