you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
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