HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
