but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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