so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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