I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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