I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
