I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
