i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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