billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So here I am, sexting at work.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
