I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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