Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Panties = found
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
