omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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