Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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