Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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