omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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