what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
