i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
