Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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