I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
