I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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