Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
