There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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