Sry I called you an 8
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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