So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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