So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
