i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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