Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
