smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
