are you so shy because you have an std?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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