hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Do vagina's smell?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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