Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
