Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
