My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
organizing the empties. That sober.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
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sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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