i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
