problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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