I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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