Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
