i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
