I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
