So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
