Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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