Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
