So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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