Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize