I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
