doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wish I only lived at night.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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