fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My penis needs a shock collar
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
