my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
