she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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