I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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