Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
