You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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