I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
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Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
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If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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