Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
