forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
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